I used to look at the news for inspiration for blogging. Things to write about. The news was full of the odd, the quirky, the human interest stories. I wrote one time about a couple somewhere who didn’t have AC. They sat in their house, and they were very, very still. All summer long. There were those “believe it or not” items: the huge, concrete horseshoe crab in Ohio–the largest in the world–and we visited it. To say it was not a huge highlight of my life is not only a pun, but an understatement.
There was a time when people got in the newspaper for doing unusual things. The woman who married the Eiffel Tower. The backyard gardener whose zucchini weighed fifteen pounds. I remember marveling at the story about the identical twins who still dressed exactly alike and had never spent even one night apart, and they were both 95. Spinsters. But I bet they had some rip-roaring Canasta tournaments at their house. Dear Abby. Such sage advice. I think her daughter or granddaughter still writes her column, but where would one find it (rhetorical question)? There used to be a “ladies section” in the paper, where they featured recipes for things that always included Cream of Something soup.
Today’s news is nothing like it was in the old days. War, horror, terrorism. The election. And all of that seems upbeat when compared to Donald Trump. I want to move to Mayberry, and invite Barney Fife and Thelma Lou over for dinner, and then we can watch The Olympics together. Here is what we’ll have:
- 1/2 cup sliced celery
- 2 tablespoons chopped onion
- 2 tablespoons margarine
- 1 can Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 can tuna, drained and flaked
- 2 tablespoons chopped pimento
- Chopped parsley
- 4 slices toast
In saucepan, cook celery and onions in margarine until tender. Blend in soup. Gradually stir in milk. Add tuna and pimento. Heat; stir now and then. Garnish with parsley and serve over toast.
Along with this, I would serve Barney and Thelma Lou some nice molded lime Jell-O with fruit cocktail in it. Arranged on top of a lettuce leaf, on my Haviland salad plates. Maybe a dollop of Hellman’s mayonnaise on top–you know, special occasion. I would also garnish each serving of the tuna with half of a hard boiled egg, for an added touch of color. Recommended vegetable side? Canned peas. For dessert? Either Table Talk Apple Pie a la mode, or maybe Betty Crocker Fudge Brownies.
You will never find any of this in the New York Times or on CNN.
YOU ARE WELCOME.