Mo Lubitz has enlarged pores. Not just on his nose, but also on his cheeks. This isn’t uncommon. Mo has other, more appealing features. His forehead is quite noble. He has a good head of hair. He doesn’t sweat much, and he has never needed to wear deodorant. This is all in the plus category, don’t you think?
But his wife, Celia, just can’t get over those pores. They weren’t that pronounced when she and Mo married. His complexion was much more refined when he was in his twenties. He was a kind person. He had a very promising career as a realtor. Celia’s mother loved him. Her father respected him. They talked Celia into fearing that if she didn’t marry Mo, there might not be any more men in the pipeline.
So Celia caved in. They had a lovely wedding. Celia wore antique lace and carried one pale lily. Everyone cried. The reception was at Celia’s home—the Bergs knew how to throw a party, and after all, Ella Berg was famous for her chopped liver.
Celia was happy in her new marriage: they had a lovely apartment, and Mo was doting, really. But he crept up on Celia and hugged her from behind. She hated this. And he loomed over her after sex, those pores looking cavernous. Celia grew to dread bed time.
These days, when they watch romantic films, Celia is drawn to the male leads with their shining eyes and tiny pores. Mo often gets amorous after one of these chick flicks. So Celia is going to cancel cable.
She makes up for it in the kitchen. Mo loves her blintzes, and he can’t get enough of her chicken soup. So the fact that Celia shrinks away just a bit when he looms over her to nuzzle her hair? Minor.
Celia is going to Bloomingdales on Monday. She is going to buy two expensive sets of Egyptian Cotton sheets for the guest room. Maybe a new reading lamp and some nice, soft towels for the en suite bath. She also might pick up some of that new masculine scent room freshener that they are advertising on the home channel.
When Mo gets home from work on Monday evening, there will be roast chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, and crumb cake. Wine. Music. And as soon as Mo sighs with satisfaction and loosens his belt, Celia will show him his new room.
It will probably take Mo about two months to realize that he has been ousted from his marriage.