James LePore: Subway Woman

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Subway woman

Subway Woman © James LePore 2003

Marry me. Now. Tonight.

It took my breath away, but then I got it back. No, I said, I’ll ruin your life.

All that crying, all those tears. Mine, not his. He didn’t cry. He pleaded with me. He tried to make me laugh. He told me about the trust fund his grandfather had set up for him. Ten thousand a month for life. We could do anything, go anywhere.

Can we go back in time, Jason? To when we started? To that first kiss? That night, I would have said yes, then we could have let it play out. Not now, though. I’ve met your family. They don’t want you marrying a chica from the barrio. With two kids by two different men, one in prison, the other dead.

Nilda showed me the paper this morning. I wish you happiness, but that you don’t forget me. If you don’t forget me, we’ll always be connected, always be together.

I can’t believe a year has passed. Should I have married Jason the man-child, four years younger than me? With those beautiful blue eyes? How he used to look at me, with such love in those eyes.

I miss that look. I miss that look most of all.


James LePore is the author of several nationally bestselling books. His latest book, God’s Formula, was released in December 2014. You can stay up-to-date with his blog posts at his website.

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On January 21, 2015
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